The 2023 NHL draft is just a few days away, meaning we’ve reached the peak time of year when all the wannabe NHL draft experts, Youtube highlight reel watchers and Corey Pronman plagiarizers come out of the woodwork to give their opinion on who their favorite team should be drafting. Going off of stats and projections is quite boring and very repetitive, so instead of some scientific approach, here is a full seven-round mock draft for the Flyers based solely off how cool players names are!
Round 1: Pick 7- Axel Sandin Pellikka
While everyone else is busy arguing about Zach Benson and Ryan Leonard, there’s a top tier name hanging just outside the top 10. Meet Swedish defenseman Axel Sandin Pellikka. Three names, no hyphens. He’s the top ranked left-handed defenseman in the draft, so if the Flyers were drafting for position instead of best player available (which is ill advised, especially for a LHD), he may be their guy. You’re not going to get a bad player with a name like Axel Sandin Pellikka.
Round 1: Pick 22- Daniil But
Assumedly, this kid’s name is pronounced Daneel Boot, but the childish side wants to pronounce it as Daniel Butt. Either way, the 6’5 205lb Russian forward is expected to be left on the board when the Flyers pick at 22. Imagine the hoards of But jerseys entering the Wells Fargo Center when he’s leading the way to the Stanley Cup in 2035? I may go pre-order mine now in anticipation for the big day.
Round 3: Pick 87- Nikita Susuyev
Susuyev is a name that no matter how many times you repeat different variations of it, it comes out awesome every time. Su-su-yev? Sus-yev? Su-suy-ev? The all-offense, no-defense forward could be a fine little diamond in the rough as a mid-round pick, though in the elite name draft, he’d be a shoo-in first round pick.
Round 3: Pick 95- Brady Cleveland
Cleveland appears to be a Philadelphian at heart as a 6’4 defenseman who loves to rack up penalty minutes. His draft profile describes him as a “solid but unspectacular defenseman” which sounds fairly on-brand for the Flyers’ blue line lately. Even more heartbreaking, the Lines.com full mock draft had him going 113 overall to the Islanders, one spot before the Columbus Blue Jackets. The Ohio connection may never come to be.
Round 4: Pick 103- Matthew Mania
Whatcha Gonna Do, when the Philadelphia Flyers and Matthew Mania runs wild on you, brother?
Round 4: Pick 120- Jayson Shaugabay
Apparently, Jayson Shaugabay is more well known in the state of Minnesota than Chuck Fletcher, but for significantly better reasons. He won the Mr. Hockey Award as the best high school player in Minnesota, and he now has another prestigious award of having one of the best names in the draft. If the Flyers take Ryan Leonard with the seventh overall pick, I want a Sugga-Bay-Leonard duo immediately.
Round 5: Pick 135- Matteo Fabrizi
It’s not often you find a man with two names that just effortlessly roll off the tongue. He’s a 6’5, 235lb (at just 18 years old) left-handed defenseman. Just a big, mean defenseman with an awesome name. What more could you want in a hockey player?
Round 6: Pick- 167- Hampton Slukynsky
The Flyers need a new goaltender in the system and who better than Hampton Slukynsky to answer the call? The American-born Western Michigan University commit has dazzled through the high school level and during his few showings with the U.S. Development team. He’d be a slow cook prospect, which is fine for the Flyers, who are overflowing with main-roster ready goaltenders at the moment.
Round 6: Pick 172- Rainers Rullers
Latvia is a country filled with elite names, and 6’4, 195lb center Rainers Rullers is no exception. Rainers Rullers (pronounced rulers… like a king) was a standout forward at the 2022 World Juniors on an underpowered Latvian squad and is the highest ranked Latvian in this year’s draft. With a name so elite, he’s destined for greatness on the ice.
Round 7: Pick 199- Daniil Karpovich
Two Daniils in the same draft?? Completely ignore the fact that Karpovich is a defenseman and But is a forward and just let a boy dream out the Legion of Daniil rushing down the ice. I want an entire five-man unit of nothing but Daniils. Then and only then will the Flyers win their next Stanley Cup.
By: Dan Esche (@DanTheFlyeraFan)
photo credit: puckpreps.com / reddeerrebels.com / Getty Images
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